Today is World AIDS Day: a day for raising money, increasing awareness, fighting prejudice and improving education. For me, a day to remember those I’ve lost. Below is my short list — a list of relatives, close friends, boyfriends and partners. To add my second and third circle of friends would make the list even more appalling:

Anthony Alex

Nick Baskle

Angelo (Armand Zone) Cilione

Bruno (Miki Zone) Cilione

Frankie DiBenedetto

Miguel Flores

Felix Garcia

Renee Girard

Albert Hope

John Jacobi

Mark Jones

Alex Keats

Michael Lombardi

Tony Lopez

Tony Luizza

Bobby Lynn

John Mayer

John Nicolson

Frankie Nuneze

Angel Padilla

Eddie Pointing

Danny Rivera

Bobby Robinson

Jose Rodriguez

Felix Rodriguez

John Rubottom

Andy Smith

Louis Smith

Mickey Trust

Bobby Westfield

James Williams

Mickey Williamson

Alex Vega

Larry Yatz

This list wouldn’t be complete without a gracious fuck you to those who could have done something at the beginning of this crisis, but chose to remain silent, turn their backs on us and show no compassion for our plight:

Ronald Reagan

George Bush Sr.

Cardinal John O’Connor

It also needs to be acknowledged that the World Health Organization states that HIV peaked in 1996, and funding should now be rerouted elsewhere. Tell that to the inner city youth where HIV infection continues to rise. Tell that to women around the world dying of AIDS related complications (did you know that the same WHO released a report stating that AIDS is the #1 killer of women in the world?). Still, they believe funding needs to be redirected. Tell me that every dollar could be better spent elsewhere while I watch the younger generation around me becoming infected with no true concern since HIV does not carry the  death sentence it did 25 years ago. Tell me as I look around to see my generation ravaged, due to the lack of caring then, and what will happen again in the near future if funds are diverted (history does repeat itself, especially when dealing with undesirables — gays, people of color, the poor, etc. ). Ya know, in my current circle of friends I can count on one hand men of my generation who are HIV negative — THREE — and that includes myself.

Closer to home ADAP, which covers approximately 35,000 Californians is being threatened with a $100 million cut by the Govenerator. The new cry from from the streets is: “We will not lay down and die quietly because our state went over budget.”

A few years ago I read Eric Rofes, Dry Bones Breath and agreed that a crisis mentality was no longer necessary. HIV is a manageable disease for many in the developed world, and especially in the gay community, or so I thought. Yet HIV/AIDS still equals death for many in our own back yards, and though manageable for the lucky few, it should never be viewed as an “imposition” disease, as I shockingly heard someone say not too long ago. “Herpes is a fuckin imposition, asshole!” Now I understand that this was the viewpoint of one young queen, but he was saying this to several of his young friends and not one of them disagreed with him nor protested against his comment. (They all jumped when I turned around expressing my anger with the herpes comment though). This is the legacy that almost 30 years of GRID (remember when they named it after us?) has come to — a fuckin imposition.

But be that as it may, for me today is a day of remembrance of those I have lost. Rest in peace my fellows. The world is a colder place without you.  I love you and miss you all.