Yesterday, Mexico City (aka / el D.F.) — the city I love, the city I plan on moving to in a few years — became the first Latin American city and the largest city in the world to legalized same sex marriage and adoption by same sex couples. The Mexico City law changes the meaning of marriage from “a free union between a man and a woman” to “a free union between two people.” Can ya beat that. The City’s legislature passed the bill 39 – 20 and the mayor is expected to sign the measure.

In 2007 Mexico City legalized civil unions for same sex partners. I was there then to see gays and lesbians climbing the steps of el Angle on el Paseo de la Reforma waving their gay flags to the honking of passing cars (sorry I didn’t have a camera at the time, just a cheap Mexican phone). It was a magical time then. I only wish I was there yesterday.

On hearing yesterdays news my husband Gustavo, the proud born and raised Mexican, responded, “Well, it seems at the moment we’re ahead of even progressive California on matters that matter.” Case in point G. Though there are a number of other Latin American countries that recognize same sex civil unions, Mexico City is a first.

Today is World AIDS Day: a day for raising money, increasing awareness, fighting prejudice and improving education. For me, a day to remember those I’ve lost. Below is my short list — a list of relatives, close friends, boyfriends and partners. To add my second and third circle of friends would make the list even more appalling:

Anthony Alex

Nick Baskle

Angelo (Armand Zone) Cilione

Bruno (Miki Zone) Cilione

Frankie DiBenedetto

Miguel Flores

Felix Garcia

Renee Girard

Albert Hope

John Jacobi

Mark Jones

Alex Keats

Michael Lombardi

Tony Lopez

Tony Luizza

Bobby Lynn

John Mayer

John Nicolson

Frankie Nuneze

Angel Padilla

Eddie Pointing

Danny Rivera

Bobby Robinson

Jose Rodriguez

Felix Rodriguez

John Rubottom

Andy Smith

Louis Smith

Mickey Trust

Bobby Westfield

James Williams

Mickey Williamson

Alex Vega

Larry Yatz

This list wouldn’t be complete without a gracious fuck you to those who could have done something at the beginning of this crisis, but chose to remain silent, turn their backs on us and show no compassion for our plight:

Ronald Reagan

George Bush Sr.

Cardinal John O’Connor

It also needs to be acknowledged that the World Health Organization states that HIV peaked in 1996, and funding should now be rerouted elsewhere. Tell that to the inner city youth where HIV infection continues to rise. Tell that to women around the world dying of AIDS related complications (did you know that the same WHO released a report stating that AIDS is the #1 killer of women in the world?). Still, they believe funding needs to be redirected. Tell me that every dollar could be better spent elsewhere while I watch the younger generation around me becoming infected with no true concern since HIV does not carry the  death sentence it did 25 years ago. Tell me as I look around to see my generation ravaged, due to the lack of caring then, and what will happen again in the near future if funds are diverted (history does repeat itself, especially when dealing with undesirables — gays, people of color, the poor, etc. ). Ya know, in my current circle of friends I can count on one hand men of my generation who are HIV negative — THREE — and that includes myself.

Closer to home ADAP, which covers approximately 35,000 Californians is being threatened with a $100 million cut by the Govenerator. The new cry from from the streets is: “We will not lay down and die quietly because our state went over budget.”

A few years ago I read Eric Rofes, Dry Bones Breath and agreed that a crisis mentality was no longer necessary. HIV is a manageable disease for many in the developed world, and especially in the gay community, or so I thought. Yet HIV/AIDS still equals death for many in our own back yards, and though manageable for the lucky few, it should never be viewed as an “imposition” disease, as I shockingly heard someone say not too long ago. “Herpes is a fuckin imposition, asshole!” Now I understand that this was the viewpoint of one young queen, but he was saying this to several of his young friends and not one of them disagreed with him nor protested against his comment. (They all jumped when I turned around expressing my anger with the herpes comment though). This is the legacy that almost 30 years of GRID (remember when they named it after us?) has come to — a fuckin imposition.

But be that as it may, for me today is a day of remembrance of those I have lost. Rest in peace my fellows. The world is a colder place without you.  I love you and miss you all.

Last nght about 100 morners gathered at Harvery Milk Plaza in the Castro to hear speeches and mourn the tragic murder of Jorge Steven Lopez Mercado, a 19 year old transsexual in Puerto Rico who’s body was found on the side of the road decapitated, dismembered and partially burned. Outrage is pouring from the gay community due to the lack of respect and support from police departments when dealing with transexual cases in general and this case in particular when original investigating police officer made the televised statement: “people who lead this type of lifestyle need to be aware this will happen.” The “alleged” murderer, Juan Matos, is using the “gay panic” defense.

Will the Matthew Shepard Act come into play in Puerto Rico? It is unknown if the prosecutors will charge Matos with a hate crime although the FBI is now involved.

On the other side we have EQCA with their push for 2012. Their help for 2010 would have been invaluable, but since they couldn’t be center stage with 2010 they decided to take their ball and go home, while throwing a wrench in whenever possible, as only they can (i.e., via twitter, blogging, news articles and eloquent speeches that bolster their decisions and reasons to wait). I mean they are extremely well connected — it’s what they do as a well oiled machine with many powerful individuals on their side (it’s all about the greasing). Their connections would have been a great help, but that help comes at a price: the ego of Kors and tantrums Solomon. Still, regardless of my personal feelings of their leadership, the organization’s shortcomings, and their disastrous handling Prop 8 — and never apologizing for it (all stated throughout this blog), EQCA does have what it takes and there is a lot that can be learned from them. It’s a shame they are not willing to teach, while many of the 2010 camp not willing to learn.

Still, there are those that are pushing ahead.

Below is an email I received to help spread the word (sorry I didn’t get it out sooner, but I was on vacation in Mexico):

Jeff:
First time caller, long time listener. You’ve written passionately here and before about the need to press forward for 2010, so I thought you would like to know about SignForEquality.com if you didn’t already. It’s a website I created for Love Honor Cherish, a member of the Restore Equality 2010 coalition, to help organize volunteers statewide to gather signatures to put a repeal of prop 8 on the ballot next year. You can download the petition, watch training videos on the do’s and don’t of signature gathering, and even create an account for yourself to set goals for how many signatures you’ll gather and report your progress towards those goals. Check it out and spread the word! SignForEquality.com

Matt

Hear-hear to Love, Honor Cherish along with Restore Equality 2010. I applaud their tenacity in light of the numbers of voters against putting gay marriage back on the ballot next year. They believe that regardless of the odds, the fight continues.

Yet, since the National March on Washington and the anniversary of the passage of Prop 8 my attitude has begun to change. Especially since learning about the infighting of the California 2010 Marriage Equality movement. Why fight for our rights in 2010 or 2012, and win, just to have the fuckhole conservative christian right come along two years later and take them away again? (Look at what they’re trying to do in New Hampshire). What’s the use of having the right to marry in California, Massachusetts, Vermont, or Ohio, or keep a job or apartment in Kalamazoo, MI., when we can’t adopt a child in Florida, if my husband and I chose to move there. What good is it if hospitals and emergency room doors are closed to us in one state regardless of our marital status in another? And what about my husband, Gustavo? A legal resident alien, by way of Mexico, who, if we were heterosexually married (aka/ federally recognized married) would be on the fast road to permanent residency, but as we are in same-sex marriage limbo, for him — nada! Piecemeal laws will get us nowhere.

Gustavo is a firm believer in the all or nothing rule, and I am now leaning that way too. California marriage equality in 2010 (or 2012) would be great, but now, I want it all. We shouldn’t settle for crumbs! I want all the rights and benefits that come to heterosexual married couples on the federal level. I want all the protections that come from not being viewed as a second-class citizen. I want health care coverage that is affordable for my husband and myself. I want to be seen and treated as an equal by the government (I can deal Joe-Schmoe on the street myself). And I don’t want to have loopholes such as where douche-bag senators can attempt to op out of things such as the Hate Crimes Law because he believes “special classes don’t need special protection.” Tell that to Matthew Shepard or Jorge Mercado.

The Civil Rights movement wasn’t won state by state, nor was the Women’s Movement. They were won at the Federal level. Why should we settle for less?

Last year I was numb. Now I know better. It’s sad to say but when we put our rights up to the majority vote, we get shot down. Plain and simple. So what happened on Tuesday is what I expected. Pissed?  Sure. Disappointed? Well, yes, (still, hope springs eternal), but am I shocked, numb or dismayed as I was last year? No. Not at all. I’ve become a bit more hardened, so as not to be caught off guard. This is why I’m also a bit shocked and elated as hell at the win in Kalamazoo, MI. Referendum 71 in Washington State is looking good, but… dare I get my hopes up without all the ballots in? Well… on to last night’s rally.

About 150 gathered in the Castro last night to mourn the one-year anniversary of the passage of Prop 8, and to express outrage at the similar story that took place in Maine this past Tuesday.

There were a few organizations canvassing the crowds for signatures and handing out flyers. EQCA made a short-lived appearance and then made a hasty retreat (I scowled “You gotta be kidding. You screwed us the first time.” when asked if I wanted to sign something of theirs).

What I did sign up with was “One Struggle One Fight” who is moving forward to put the California same-sex marriage initiative on the 2010 ballot.

Speakers ranged from emotional to informative and there was a place for both.

A number of the speakers directed their anger towards Obama and his lack luster show of support for our cause during his first year. For him to say, “…[Gay marriage]… is a matter for states to decide,” and then remain silent in the weeks before the Maine election, has been a slap in our face. Many (myself included) feel that this state-by-state approach is not working and that we need to take this to the federal level as well.

It was also brought to the crowds’ attention that Nancy Pelosi has done absolutely nothing for or cause and that earlier that day a group of individuals had gone to her San Francisco office to speak to her about this. After being rudely dismissed by one of her lackeys (i.e., her LGBT liaison), the office was told that when a health care bill passes “we’ll be back.”

They ask to go to SpeakforEquality.org to sign the petition that will be presented to Speaker Pelosi.

The most emotional speaker was a recovering(?) catholic, “To the Catholics that raised me, and the church that schooled me… HOW FUCKIN’ DARE YOU!!! How can you teach love with one had and destroy with the other? Well, we will not be silent any longer. Do you fuckin’ hear me?” (He definitely got my attention).

Though they didn’t speak, I need to talk about Million for a Million who were at the rally. Organized by Yes! on Equality and TruthandHope.org in collaboration with Restore Equality 2010. They are at the forefront of the 2010 campaign to repeal Prop 8 and know that waiting is no longer an option. The goal of the “Million for a Million” campaign is to raise the $1 million necessary to fund getting the more than one million signatures needed to place a marriage equality initiative on the ballot. Million for a Million believes:

Now is the time to have your say: Do the establishment organizations determine when you fight for your rights, or do the people determine the timing? The fate of 2010 is now up to YOU.

For more information, go to:

http://millionforamillion.com

After the speakers, we took to the streets. With such a small group we actually took over Market Street for two blocks. From Castro to Sanchez our little group did not let a car go by shouting, “If we have to wait, so do the cars.” Turning down Sanchez then up 18^th we ended blocking the four corners of 18^th and Castro for about 45 minutes.

I have to say, the last part of the rally, blocking traffic along our entire route with such a small group was refreshing. It was the first time since the passage of Prop 8 that I’ve been involved with a group that said screw obeying traffic rules and sticking to the sidewalk. It was simple, but spoke volumes. One Struggle One Fight follows the old ACT-UP model of civil disobedience. They post their upcoming meetings and gatherings on their FaceBook page. Check ‘em out. Better yet, JOIN!

“You can’t put a civil rights issue on the ballot and let the people decide. You have to have elected officials to who have courage to make the right decision. If you left it up to the people, we’d have slavery, depending on how you worded it.

What do ya think the chance are of getting Jesse to run for CA governor (Hey! What about President on the 2012 Independent ticket?). We really need someone with a set of balls!

Last night the husband and I attended the procession of Dia de los Muertos in the Mission. A yearly event here in San Francisco that follows friends Tom and Chris’ Day of the Dead house party (Tom owns Regalito Rosticeria). The party is always filled with good friends, good food and is a nice send off to the festivities. Amongst the throngs of people and offerings we chanced upon the above sign carried by two skeletons. English translation:

“Long live gay marriage. Death to Prop 8. Married November 2, 2008″

As the couple made their way through the streets many people cheered as they passed. Seems in any language and any situation the truth still shines through.(Sorry for no pictures of alters, but after the sign above, watching the Aztec dancers and wandering around for 45 minutes, I had seen all I needed).

Today is Gustavo and my one year wedding anniversary. It was one year ago today that we celebrated our love in front of a few friends in San Francisco’s City Hall. It was one year ago today we exchanged our vows to love, honor and cherish all we hold dear.

It was 8 days later that Californians, with the help of the Mormons, let us know that chickens had more rights than we did.

Six months later the California State Supreme Court upheld Prop 8 but left our marriage along with the other 18,000 same-sex married couples intact. At first I felt it was a hollow victory. Today I know better. This is our foot in the door. You can’t have one set of rules for group A and another set of rules for group B, and then another set of rules for a subset of group B, (which the courts said originally there shouldn’t be different rules between groups A and B to begin with). That was just the beginning. The fight continues — on the state level and the national level. And those responsible, hiding behind protecting children, their institutions and their god, their lies, are having a bright light shown upon them. And that light is “8: The Mormon Proposition.”

I’m sure the Mormon church will scream foul with the release of this movie — Good! FUCK ‘EM!!! They can burn in hell!

As for us, I’m still married. I still love my husband, and tonight we’re having dinner at Bar Tartine.

With Katya Smirnoff-Skyy away in China doing missionary work (or smuggling diamonds–depending on who you ask), Summer Clearance and Ethel Merman stepped in to fill the void left in her absence at Martuni’s last night. Needless to say they were on top of their game.

Between the banter, jokes about Judy Garland and music by the Tom Shaw Trio (I just love Roberta), the girls sang their hearts out.

Summer, a more laid back songstress, sang such wonderful standards as: Black Coffee, You Can Always Count on Me, and I’m Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair.

Ethel, on the other hand, belted out such movie musicals numbers as: The Trolly Song, Make it Another Old-Fashioned Please, and topped it off with an over the top version of the Turtle’s Happy Together

For duets the gals did: Xanadu, Close to You, and the crowd pleasing Girl From Ipanema.

In all, it was a great evening, and though Summer will be taking a hiatus for a few months, you can still catch the Ethel Merman Experience around town. P.S. Katya will be back performing at Martuni’s every 3rd Sunday starting in November.

Come hear Summer and Ethel play…(in):

“While the Kat(ya) is Away, the Mice will Play”

Below is a lil’ info about the show.

Hi Friends,

Get ready for the Met to become Minsky’s as Ethel Merman and Summer Clearance take over for popera-diva Katya Smirnoff-Skyy on Sunday, October 18th, co-hostessing a night most definitely not at the opera. The Merm says “I adore Katya, but you wouldn’t wanna see me doing Mimi from Bo-heemee.” So she’ll be belting out some of her favorite Broadway and pop songs, as will Miss Clearance, and just for fun the girls are planning on at least a couple of duets. As the philharmonic has the night off, both dames will be accompanied by the fabulous Tom Shaw Trio.

Look forward to seeing you there!

XoXo
Summer

Where?  Martuni’s – 4 Valencia St (@ Market St)

When? This Sunday, Oct 18, 7 – 9PM

Come early. Seating is limited.

Here’s what Bob has to say about the weekend (sent at 7:36AM EST):

What an amazing first few days in Washington.   There are thousands and thousand of people here.  I am blown away by how many have come to march.  The critics said we couldn’t pull this off.   It looks like we have.

President Obama spoke last night at the HRC dinner.   He spoke only because he knew thousands of us will be marching in the streets to demand the rights owed to us under the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.  The news in DC has been filled with stories about the march.   CNN broadcast Obama’s speech live and many of us were packed into a suite here at the Madison to watch the it.

We have a major press conference this morning at 10:00 am here at the Madison before the start of the march.   Thus far we have 180 press people credentialed to cover the march.

I would say 80% of those here for the march are young, many in college.   I think that is amazing.

For us old folks, I can’t tell you how many young activists have come up to us and said thank you for laying the foundation all these years to make it possible for them to be here and march.

We are, indeed, passing the torch to a new generation.   That was part of David Mixner’s message when he called for the march on Washington last April.  There are so many kids here who understand what came before them.   It’s very cool.

Attached are some photos:

Photo 1:  Press showed up at our volunteer mixer last night

Photo 2:  David Mixner speaking to the huge crowd at the volunteer mixer

Photo 3:  Cleve speaking to the crowed at the mixer

Photo 4:  A bunch of us crammed into a suite at the hotel last night to watch Obama’s speech

I hope to take photos today at the rally

The three-quarter sleeve started with a dragon to cover the armband done 10 years prior. It was decided afterwards to add more to the piece to make it a 3/4 sleeve. The tattooist (I don’t remember his name) worked out of a shop on Central Ave just off Lark St. (I don’t remember it’s name either, and it’s no longer there). What I do remember is that the artist was from Bethel, Alaska, and that when he was finished doing the outline of the surrounding sleeve (and had been paid in full) he disappeared in the middle of the night. Apparently some unsightly characters were lookin for him, so he packed his bags and beelined back to Bethel, leaving the owner of the shop to finish the work on my arm. Hence the different style in the coloring of the waves.

In all, the dragon, the waves and the storm clouds present a nice combination of stuff, yet, if I had to do it again I would not do a sleeve. As time has passed, my taste changed. I now prefer the variety and mishmash of the American postage stamp style — depicting different times of my life. Not the solid canvas Japanese style. But to cover up a cover up, and something so large, well that would be near impossible, and I have to draw the line somewhere, so let’s just move on, OK?

Having a three-quarter, rather than a full sleeve, was great for my short-lived teaching career. During my first semester teaching Social Deviance I had a plan. I wore long-sleeve shirts rolled up to mid forearm so not to reveal the tattoo. I also laid on some heavy-duty oil-based foundation over my hand tattoo and didn’t wear my earrings during class to keep my “image” somewhat low-key. On the day I started lecturing on labeling theory I showed up wearing a sports jacket and tank top. When I removed the jacket, an audible gasp was heard throughout the class. The papers that followed were dead on, lesson learned, and I created quite a stir in the department.

The next tattoo, the partial skull, was done at Sturgis, South Dakota, in 2001. My first major motorcycle run — half way across the country; 3,276 miles round trip, and where I picked up my first “I rode mine” patch. You can read about the Sturgis Bike Run here, but know that the Run is HUGE. In 2005 it was estimated that approximately 525,250 bikers and their enthusiasts attended Bike week. Compare that number to the 754,844 people who live in the entire state. That’s a shit load ’a folk, but back to tattoos.

The piece was done by a woofy lil’ bear from Seattle. The weather: hot and sticky — 95 degrees at 95% humidity (Ahhhh, summer in the Midwest). I decided the piece was to be on my neck. It was to be a rite of passage; a status symbol saying I’m never going back to the 9 – 5 world again (moving to California does stuff to like this to people, so I’ve been told). Before we started, I asked if it was as painful as the when I had my underarm done. “Oh yeah, nothing to worry about,” he sad. Then he started. OH MY FUCKIN’ GOD!!! I WANTED TO DIE! When he was done I angrily stammered out, “You said it was gonna be no worse than my underarm!” To which he calmly replied, “Dude, it’s your neck! If I told how much it was gonna hurt, you never would have gone through with it.” Case in point, he referred to the table I was on. I left about a gallon of terror sweat on it. It’s true: “one must suffer for art.”

Up to this point my tattoos were coming about one every 10 years. In 2003 things started to speed up.

Tattoo # 6, Dead Man’s Hand, came about with absolutely no forethought other than I had a few hours to kill before therapy and the tattooist was hot (honest). I stopped into a corner coffee shop on Potrero Avenue for an espresso and noticed an open side door leading to a tattoo shop. I walked into the shop to discover I had entered Jerry’s Tattoo (and Espresso) Shop — no web sit available (how a shop can not have a web site is beyond me). I immediately turned around and was drawn to a piece of flash art above the door. I scanned the room but kept being drawn back to the piece above the door. I asked the woofy coffee maker if he would be doing the tattoo. He said yes, and the deal was done. Not really a great tat, more like a thug piece, but like I said, he was hot. I may have it covered eventually, but for now, it works for me. BTW, it went over big time in barber school.

My next piece was a graduation gift from an ex-client (of my Daddy Bruno days) when I finished barber school. The straight-edge razor was done by Gauge Strongarm from Gotham Body Piercing & Tattoos. Besides good work, Gauge is just a great person. Sitting in his chair, listening to Billy Idol while he buzzes away on a body part, tellin’ me to butch it up and stop my belly achin’… Ahhh, these are what memories are made of. The straight-edge is a symbol of the barber in that in the U.S. only barbers are allowed to shave. The “OT” on the tang is my DBA (Doing Business As): Octavius Tonsor — Octavius is one of my middle names; Tonsor is barber in Latin, thus, Octavius the Barber.

The little birdie I have behind my left ear was my first tattoo done at the Body Art Expo at the Cow Palace. It was done by Tex who was working for Body Manipulations but has since gone off on her own. The history behind the piece is an interesting part of gay history. During World War II (The Big One) gay sailors would tattoo a human eye and a swallow on their bodies as code to other gays (get it? “I swallow!”). I went with the letter “I” as it aesthetically looked better in the small space I was placing it. A little after note: My dyke friend Kelly was with me as I was tattooed, and found it amusing (and a bit of a turn on) that I would cringe every time the needle hit a hot spot on my head. After the second cringe she started to talk shit to me, “C’mon boy. Make Mommy wet. Show her how much you want her. C’mon. Show Mommy how much you mean to her.” When we were done Tex exclaimed, “I’ve lived in S.F. all my life, but that conversation takes the cake.” We were happy to have made her day.

I went back to Gauge to scratch an itch for some more work. I really didn’t know what I wanted so we sat down and just started talkin.’ After some discussion it was decided that a clown would be a good idea. I am scared shitless of clowns and keeping one’s fears close (in this case on my shoulder) is a great reason for a tattoo. All I had to do was find a clown that worked my nerves just right. Though Bozo was my first fear (see the last entry of “Giggling in the dark – part 2″ ) he wouldn’t translate as a tattoo, so enter Sweet-Tooth. He’s just a plain twisted looking freak. I like the cartoon effect that Gauge gave the work. It adds to the creature’s “uncomfortableness” for me. “Redrum” at the bottom is a nod to one of my favorite movies.

Next: no regrets, lists, the promises, y en español

I’ve stated this elsewhere in this blog but it bears repeating: though I love the end result — I HATE GETTING TATTOOED! I have absolutely no pain threshold. Every time the needle touches my skin, I think, “Why? Why am I doing this again?” Then I remember the Oscar Wilde quote I read so many years ago,

“One should be a work of art, or wear a work of art”

I shut my whiny mind up, bear through the discomfort and wait for the finished result — ART!

The first tattoo I got when I was 16. It’s the top half a cow skull as seen in the desert. It’s bled quite a bit, but one can still make out the image, once explained. To read more about this tattoo experience check out my first blog entry, “Musings after 2 friends got their first tattoos”

During most of my life in NYC, tattoos were illegal, well at least tattoo storefronts. They were banned as of 1961, some say, due to health department concerns of the spread of Hepatitis B. Others say it was due to the heroin habit of the son of then NY State Congressman John V. Lindsay. When the story went public that the congressman’s son came down with Hep B (due to dirty works), the blame was placed on tattoo parlors. Whatever story you choose to believe the end result was ground floor public tattoo shops were forced underground. Tattooists continued their craft, but in basements, back rooms, apartments and second stories of buildings. Their names and fame were passed by word of mouth, their work, shown on the body canvas, and in the 80s they advertised in the Village Voice. That is where I found FineLine Mike and his second floor studio, located at the corner of Bowery and Houston and where I got my second tattoo.

It was 1983; 10 years had passed since my first tat, and I was ready for another. I had a book: Celtic Art – Methods of Construction and wanted a Celtic armband based on the design on the right. At the time Celtic tattoos were not the rage they are today. In fact no one really had them at all. I was to be a pioneer. Mike had never done Celtic work himself and found the piece a challenge, but was excited about doing it.

The day of my appointment was a typical NYC August afternoon, hot and sticky — around 90 degrees and at an equal percentage of humidity, i.e., overall, miserable. I showed up with only a beer, a few shots of Canadian Club and a Quaalude to fill my empty stomach. Mike was not having it. He said I should have eaten something, and I was going to have to rebook for the following week. I pleaded with him to let me run down stairs, grab a quick burger and come back. He said OK and he’d see me in 30 minutes. I scoffed down my burger and coke, not wanting to miss my chance at having a professional use my skin as his canvas and was back in his studio within 15 minutes.

As I said, it was a hot day and his studio was not air-conditioned. So Mike worked as I sweated, grimaced and sweated some more. After what seemed an eternity he asked me to stand up. The next thing I knew I heard a distant voice saying, “Put your head between your legs. Put your head between your legs.” It was then I discovered I was a fainter (who knew?). Apparently, when your body is subjected to an attack or shock, in this case jabbed and bled continuously with a needle, everything in your system rushes to that place to see what’s going on and try to help or stop it. With no food in your system, or some food but not enough time to digest it, you don’t have enough … whatever, to go around, and this can lead to light headedness with a possible end being fainting. So let that be a lesson to you boys and girls: Eat a high protein meal at least one hour before being tattooed or you may wind up on the floor.

When I came to it was decided that I would come back in a couple of weeks to add the color. Once done I was happy with the work. Not thrilled, just happy. Like I said, Mike had never done Celtic work before and the wrapping of the design around the arm was a bit daunting. The line work proved to be I don’t know, maybe more than he could handle (sorry Mike). I mean it was a good piece, but it wasn’t perfect. Still I was proud to show it off.

It’s a shame to say that I have no clear photos of that tattoo. Most of my personal belongings were stolen from storage in early 1989 and that included many photos. I have some blurry pics of the work one of which I’ve cut pasted here (left). You can also see some of the line work bleeding through the cover up to the right (yes I covered it up. More on that when I get to the sleeve discussion).

A year later I was ready for tattoo number 3 and went back to Mike (as he was really the only guy I knew at the time). He was very happy to see me. I was a bartender at a popular NYC gay bar during the 80s (The Bar — 2^nd Ave @ 4^th St) and many, many people saw and liked his work on my arm and went to him for their own tattoos. Needless to say, I told them to mention my name. When I showed up for my next piece, he offered to do it for $25.

I chose another Celtic piece. This time a Celtic knot to be done on my right calf. The idea behind it is in Celtic mythology a circle around another circle symbolizes eternity. The circular knot was executed beautifully by Mike and still holds up today, 25 years later. The inner circle was mine — a birthmark, strategically placed, naturally, in the middle of my calf. Below, the evolution of the tattoo with an appearance of FineLine Mike himself.

Mike is still tattooing in New York City at FineLine Tattoo. If you stop in, tell him I said hey.

The next tattoo was done in Albany, NY about 9 years later with some of the money I was suppose to finish graduate school with — 9 credits away from a Ph.D. in Sociology and all I got is a tattoo to show for it. Below is the overall view of the piece. I’ll discuss it more along with my other tattoos in my next post (did you think I could actually just put up a photo and a couple of lines for each piece? HA! This will take a few blog entries ) .

]]> http://jeffcilione.com/?feed=rss2&p=2021 2 http://jeffcilione.com/?p=1921 http://jeffcilione.com/?p=1921#comments Wed, 09 Sep 2009 15:48:18 +0000 Jeff http://jeffcilione.com/?p=1921

“Can’t sleep or the clowns will get me” (above: Sweet-tooth)

Eraserhead (1977) “A dream of dark and troubling things” Not true horror, per say, but one of the most disturbing and unsettling movies I’ve seen (Henry taking the temperature of his misshapen son — what the hell was that thing anyway? (And the woman in the radiator). Though David Lynch’s first movie, it took 5 years to complete due to budget problems. It was the last of the original theatrical midnight movies.

Jesus Camp (2006) “America is being born again” Nothing is more terrifying than the truth of the disillusioned, and this is most evident in the documentary Jesus Camp. This truly is a horror movie, showing a malignant growth in the heart of our country — Devil’s Lake to be exact (how appropriate). The brainwashing of innocence should be enough to outrage and disgust any rational, thinking person. With special appearances by the homo hating homo himself, Ted Haggard (this lovely little sermon soon bit him on the ass — can you say “irony” boys and girls?). Believe me, this movie makes me shit my pants more than a zombie clown.

Trilogy of Terror (1975) Three stories, 1 star – Karen Black (Love her!). It was the last story — Amelia, that was the best, because it had that doll. That lil fuckin’ doll, runnin ‘round the house, just out of reach, cuttin’ and slicin’. I can’t handle it. I hate that doll. I really do. And it just wasn’t a happy ending for poor Amelia (or her over bearing mother either).

A Tale of Two Sisters (2003) “Fairy tales have never been this Grimm” More of the Asian ghost experience done right. Just hints of apparitions at the edge of one’s peripheral view, but when it comes full face… That thing at the foot of the bed — in broad daylight no less (I hate it when ghosts don’t know their place, even in nightmares).

Black Sabbath: The Three Faces of Fear (1964) A set of 3 Mario Bava shorts. The last one, Drops of Water had one of the most terrifying endings I saw up to that point in my short life (I was 7). I still can’t fall asleep hearing water dripping from a faucet. (Spoiler Alert! Don’t watch the trailer I’ve added if you don’t want to see the ending).

David and Lisa (1962)  “An Unusual Love Story” to say the least. This was my first “sit down alone and watch a movie rather than cartoons” flick — in the afternoon no less (I was around 6 years old). He has OCD and believes a person’s touch can kill him. She has a split personality (dissociative identity disorder), and they fall in love. What’s disturbing are David’s nightmares: clock/axe beheadings of those who touched him. The blood dripping down the clock face gave me nightmares galore.

The list would not be complete if I didn’t add “my” early horror flicks (seen from when I was about 5 – 9 years old). Most were watched on WPIX channel 11’s Chiller Theater (watch the opening of the weekly show here) with my father, my uncle, or my grandmother, especially my grandmother (she loved “munsta” movies and was my biggest enabler when it came to watching things that gave me nightmares–LOVED her). Here are my favorites.

House on Haunted Hill (1959) “See it with someone with warm hands” My very first horror movie. The cut off head, the floating old woman, ceilings that drip blood, the lead actress screaming her way through the entire movie, and Vincent Price. Now that’s an introduction to horror movies. Today it’s pure cheesy camp, but as a child it was terrifying (I still feel a bit uneasy looking at a squared deco styled house). The remake (1999) though amusing, was disappointing.

The Haunting (1963) “The dead are not quiet in Hill House” Unsettling camera angles and gothic architecture gives the house center stage in this ghost story. The bedroom scenes with the ghostly laughing (God! God! Who’s hand was I holding?), the pounding on the wall, culminating in the “breathing door” would make anyone’s neck hair stand on end. And poor, sensitive Eleanor: “I sleep on my left side…it wears the heart out quicker.” (I always remembered that line). As for the remake… I found no reason for anyone to have to sit through it.

Carnival of Souls (1962) “She escaped death. Now it wants her back” A truly scary movie, and definitely one of my favorites — all done on a low budget without special effects. The dead rising out of the water, the dancing, the chasing, and the stalking by “The Man.” The organ music score and bleak landscape add to the eeriness. Some say cheesy, I say nightmare city. It’s in its simplicity that I find the terror — fear is aroused without unnecessary trappings, just the broken down carnival, the music and her thoughts/dreams — the dead; the smiling fuckin’ dead. I don’t know why the risen dead strike such a fear in me. It’s childish but it’s real, and this movie (like other dead/zombie flicks) strikes that deep chord. George Romero had to be influenced by this one. This was (is) a movie that kept me up at night.

The Cyclops (1957) “A 50 foot man thing in a land of nature gone wrong” A 50 ft, mutated, one-eyed bald test pilot with half his mouth burned off exposing a tooth-laden snarl. On car trips to my uncle in Poughkeepsie I wouldn’t be able to sleep fearing the Cyclops appearing above the hilltops along the NY State Thruway. Screwed with my juvenile psyche for years.

So there you have it, the reasons I look over my shoulder, and not under my bed, and why I giggle in the dark (it’s to keep from screaming).

“One should be a work of art, or wear a work of art” — Oscar Wilde

It was that time of year again: the Body Art Expo was at the Cow Palace this past weekend and I got another piece of work — this time a zombie bite (pic above –  just done). And it was not a disaster like last time (see post “What not to do with a needle” – parts 1-3).

As usual I got a 3 day pass, and wandered around Friday night scoping out an artist whose work I liked. This visit was a little different as the weather is San Francisco was unusually warm. Typically it’s a balmy 50-55 degrees with fog so I wander around with a sweatshirt on, covering my tattoos. On those nights most tattooists and enthusiasts view me as an undercover-cop (a cross I’ve had to bear my entire adult life) giving me sideways glances and nothing more. This past weekend though, the temps reached into the 90s so I wandered the Cow Palace in a t-shirt, with my tats exposed. Man, what a difference showin’ some ink makes. Eye contact was made, heads were nodding, and even a few smiles were tossed my way by passing cholos — WOOF! (guess I’ll be takin’ my shirt off for the next show ).

After checking out a few artists I came across Inkies Tattoo Studios out of Fremont, CA where I met Karl Vittali (photo left) — he’s new to the Bay Area via Dallas and still maintains his Texas geniality. I liked his work as well as his attitude. We talked about my idea and agreed on my coming back Saturday night to look at his sketch as well as booking an appointment for Sunday noon (if I liked the sketch. If not, then the deposit would go for the time spent on the sketch).

Needless to say the sketch was to my liking and I was on the table at noon on Sunday. As always as soon as the needle hit the skin I was thinking to myself “why the fuck am I doin this again?” I mean, it hurts like hell, (I have no pain threshold at all), but one must suffer to be art, and suffer I did, as the piece is in a sensitive part of the arm (for me at least). But 2 hours later tadaa —  an infected zombie bite (the pic below – 6 hours later. The colors/wash are beginning to pop. There is a slight green hue which is actually called “zombie” green).

What was really an enjoyable aspect of this tattoo experience was Karl’s enthusiasm. He had a great time doing the piece and thanked me for letting him do it. Look him up. You won’t be sorry.  It was also the first time I actually entered a tattoo in a contest: Best Piece of the Day. Though I didn’t win (damn it!) the judges loved the piece as did the audience — cameras flashed as I walked the stage. In all, a great weekend.

drawing by Bernie Wrightson

“Horror is not a genre… horror is an emotion.” — Douglas Winter

The Shining (1980) “A Masterpiece of Modern Horror” Absolutely one of my all time favorite movies. Ahhhh, the twins, “Hello Danny. Come and play with us… Forever.” While Jack Nicholson’s acting is incredible (truly one of the most memorable performances of all-time), for me it’s Shelly Duvall’s performance that shines — she’s terrified, distraught and confused with the realization that the husband she thought she knew is a complete insane stranger, and she’s trapped (click here to hear a short discussion of Shelly’s take on working with Kubrick). To add to the films loneliness, the hotel, through Kubrick’s lens, becomes it’s own character — large and forbidding as it dwarfs all around it. (Note: Recognize the scene pictured above? No? Click here).

Jaws (1975) “Don’t go in the water” OK! Not really a monster, per-se, but that opening scene with the woman in the water… DAMN! It still screws with me. Anyone who says they didn’t think twice about steppin’ into the ocean after watching that movie, at least for a lil’ while, is full of shit.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) “Sleep kills” It’s bad enough I can’t sleep at night because my nightmares are so real, but to make a movie where your dreams can kill you? Bastards! Just that intro scene of Freddy was enough to screw with me for the rest of the movie. He’s truly one of the creepiest horror villains in movie history (the bastard son of 100 maniacs). Shame his character took a turn for the comedic in later films.

Return of the Living Dead (1985) “They’re back from the grave and ready to party” The movie added to the zombie legend by: 1) being the first movie I ever saw where zombies run (I was so screwed after that); 2) explaining that “Night of the Living Dead” actually happened (and why); and, 3) explained what zombies need to eat — brains (and why). All mixed with comedy and laid down to a punk soundtrack — who could ask for more?

Nosferatu (1922) The first ever on-screen depiction of a vampire in the history of film. The scene where Harker opens his door and sees him standing in the hallway; and his rising from the coffin — creepy as all hell (all seen is this beautifully restored original trailer). And having it silent just adds to the eeriness. A much more disturbing movie than Dracula.

Dracula (1931) Sure it scared me as a kid, but Bela Lugosi never really stuck in my psyche the way the a vampire should. Maybe it was that accent or the lack of makeup, I dunno. Lon Chaney Sr. was originally slated for the role but he died before production could get underway. What he would have come up with … now that Dracula would’ve scared the bejesus outta me. Be-that-as-it-may there were some creepy elements to the Lugosi story, but what got me the most was Renfield. He freaked me out big time, especially his laugh. My uncle would imatate him from behind the door or from inside the closet sending me screaming from the room. (F.Y.I. clicking on the “laugh” link will take you to a YouTube video short from Dracula. Renfield’s laugh takes place 2 mins into the video).

Open Water (2003) “Don’t get left behind” Being left behind and totally forgotten — Fuck me! (the sharks are incidental).

Zombie (1980) (aka/ Zombi 2) “We Are Going to Eat You” The underwater scene where the zombie takes a bite outta the shark — Dawn of the Dead meets Jaws (and folk wonder why I hate the water). What is so intense about Italian horror flicks is they are so dead-balls out there. They don’t hold back. There is nothing left to the imagination. Nothing! Who can forget the zombie “picnic” scene that the Dr.’s wife was invited to, or the painfully slow, 28 second “eye-gouging” scene (FUCK!). This is definitely, not a movie for the squeamish or for those prone to nightmares (so why I put myself through this, I’ll never know).

Audition (1999) “Words create lies. Pain can be trusted” The movie is a slow buildup to the unbelievable last 15 minutes (which I still can’t watch without squirming). It’s amazing that someone so delicate can be so extraordinarily brutal. But it’s the little things that I find deeply disturbing — seeing her sitting on the floor in an almost totally unfurnished apartment, and knowing that she’s been there for days, waiting for the phone to ring. When it rings she gives this little smile and you realize, “OMG! She’s fuckin’ insane!” (Spoiler Alert: The “little smile’ link has some details that may give some of the movie away). This is pure horror. The film is gruesome, amazing and utter genius.

Marathon Man (1976) I can’t include Audition without mentioning this piece from the torture genre. Those three little words, “Is it safe?” will send a jolt of pain through my mouth for all eternity. And don’t talk to me about drilling. I can’t even handle the sound of a drill (did I ever mention my disdain for the dentist?).

(Ghosts, dolls, and… and… I don’t know what was goin’ on in Lynch’s head, for the finale)

drawing by Bernie Wrightson

Horror as fiction: “… Intended to scare, unsettle, or horrify the audience. The cause of the ‘horror’ has often been the intrusion of a disturbing supernatural element into the everyday human experience”  – wikipedia

28 Days Later (2002) “The days are numbered” What a great concept: “They’re infected with, rage!” and it brought zombies back to the mainstream (well, zombe“ish” creatures). The scenes of a deserted London are fascinating, and eerie. The church scene — where he sees a mass grave of dead bodies piled against the pews but when he calls out, two “supposed” corpses leap to attention, eyes glowing red … Damn! It still scares the shit outta me.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) “What Happened Was True.” The granddaddy of all splatter films was a particularly bloodless yet incredibly violent movie that after the initial “shock” introduction of Leatherface, is a non-stop terror ride.  An early “based on a true story” flick (said to be loosely based on serial killer Ed Gein), and shot in and around one of the creepiest houses on film. I’m not much of a “slasher” buff but this movie, like Last House on the Left, was the first of their kind. They weren’t explicitly graphic – gore for gore’s sake. Just shock and horror in it’s purest form.

Ju-on (2000) For me the original Japanese version far outshines the American version, “The Grudge” (2004) in setting a disturbing atmosphere. Compare how the ghost crawls down the stairs. The American version is done with special effects; the Japanese use a stylized jerking motion — all sans special effects. Just the way she twists down the stairs is terrifying. (F.Y.I. the long haired, herky jerky ghost has its roots in the days of Kabuki theatre, where the actors utilized such characteristics to depict a wholly menacing specter — and it works!).

Halloween (1978) “He’s come home” The standard to which all other modern horror movies are measured. I say horror because though categorized as a slasher film it’s the first to introduce the slasher as an indestructible evil force: “You can’t kill the boogey man,” thus making it horror. It also contains the greatest movie theme song ever (yes, better than Tubular Bells), written by John Carpenter himself (I use the theme as my ringtone).



An American Werewolf in London (1981) “Beware the moon” Another movie that combines horror and humor and a great soundtrack. I love movies that add to a legend. In this the souls of the creature’s murdered dead follow and talk to him while he is in human form. It also shows the transformation from human to werewolf to be extremely painful for the cursed individual.

Salem’s Lot (1979) The floating kid scratching at the window <shudder>, a terrifying vampire who looks like Nosferatu … pretty damn good for a TV movie. (Note: I remember watching the mini-series premier broadcast on CBS channel 2 NYC in November ‘79 — it was a 2 parter. It showed during an election recount later in Nov. During the last 10 minutes of the movie, it was interrupted in order to give some local election results. By the time it returned to the program, the credits were rolling. Talk about a bunch’a pissed off New Yawkas).

Stephen King’s It (1990) Pennywise – a fuckin’ clown. The story and acting can get pretty hokey, but it’s a fuckin’ clown! I can’t say anymore (nor will I sleep tonight).

Pitch Black (2000) “It’s getting dark” Monsters, darkness, a distant planet, a junkie and Vin Diesel (WOOF!). Some ordinary plot twists: the good guy is bad, the bad guy is good (sort’a), an attempt at redemption for a past act (through sacrifice or god just doesn’t care, you decide), but in all, really, really cool monsters (and did I mention Vin Diesel?  – WOOF!) (Spoiler Alert – After the you see the creatures, about 1 min or so into the YouTube vid, STOP!).

The Eye — Gin Gwai (2002) (aka/ Seeing Ghosts) “Some things are better left unseen” Along the lines of The Sixth Sense, this Hong Kong release relies a lot on atmosphere and things left unseen. The elevator scene had me shittin’ (but I’m a big wuss). There’s something about the Far East and its depiction of ghosts that is so bone chilling and disturbing. I guess it comes with thousands of years of practicing story telling to scare the shit out of each other.

Bozo the Clown (1946 – may he burn forever in hell) — This was my first introduction to horror, and from the ages of about 3-5 I lived it every morning, hiding behind a chair in my parents’ living room. There I’d be in the early hours before they’d wake up, shivering in abject terror of the moment Bozo would stick his head out from the hallway looking for me. Why such fear? Dunno. I was told that when I was about 2 my mom turned on the TV to Bozo and I just lost it. Since then there have been no circuses, no birthday parties with clowns, nada. Today I can’t even handle being in a room with more than 3 Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence without breaking out into a sweat. Thanks a lot Bozo.

(Vampires, torturers and even more zombies, next)

But we all need to get off our collective asses and move. Nothing is going to be given to us. The “hurry up and wait” mentality of Equality California (EQCA) and others is not the way.  What next? Sing-alongs of we shall overcome? Safety is not going to help us. And if we lose, we go for it again, and again, and again: 2010, 2012, and so on if need be. This waiting for the “time is right” is something we can not afford to do. Yesterday, Huffington Post blogger Rupert Russell in his America’s Gay Leadership Crisis aptly stated, in response to the 2012 waiting game:

“… cut your checks now and wait a little longer, equality is right around the corner. And [we] have been waiting…13 years for the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, 16 years to end Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, 22 years to lift the HIV travel and immigration ban, and 233 years to have [our] relationships recognized by a Republic that declared “all men are created equal.”

Russell ends his article saying we need to look toward ourselves for advancing our civil equality and I agree. EQCA and the “Prepare to Prevail” groups decision to wait till 2012, though disappointing, should not deter our mission.

And to those that think we will lose without Equality California, since the press paints them as California’s most influential gay political organization (WOW! what a good PR department can do), then I ask you to read The Gay Buzz’s “Momentum is Growing for Marriage Equality in 2010.” There has been a flurry of tweets the past few days from EQCA as to who is backing their decision, leading many to believe that their reasoning is correct. I see these editorials written not because theirs is the right decision, but the result of the PR connections of a well oiled political machine, i.e., political reach and power, which does not equal truth.

Not to remain silent, The Gay Buzz article lays out what political action committees and gay organizations are involved in getting a marriage equality initiative in California next year, while it questions the motive of EQCA’s 2012 decision.

If after reading both articles you still have any doubts that 2010 is the way to go, please tell me why (and do not go over the same old “we have to educate the masses” or “we’ll have more money if we wait” bullshit. Those arguments are weak).

above drawing by Bernie Wrightson

Ya know my blog would be nothing without a list of my 40 favorite horror flicks (in no particular order). Not so much a synopsis of each movie (there are tons of other sites for that), just a  lil’ look into my twisted psyche  – i.e., what scared the shit outta me (or at least what left a lasting impression).

Great horror is profoundly unsettling. It lingers in my  subconscious consciousness  for quite awhile — many times forever — and effects the little things that I do on a day-to-day basis, e.g., always locking the bathroom door when I shower, never having any appendages hanging over the bed, or simply sleeping with the lights on when alone, to name a few. But as I stated in other posts, there is an incredible joy in being scared. It’s visceral and it’s real, and with this list it’s something I’d like to share with you.

This list, broken up over a few posts, is loaded with picture links and YouTube links, so check them out — you won’t be disappointed (it took a shit load of time and effort to find this stuff, so click away I said).

Alien (1979) “In space no one can hear you scream.” — A great tag line. It’s pure gothic horror with a space ship in place of the castle. It also answers the age-old question: Why don’t they just leave? The alien’s chest bursting scene is one of the most frightening moments in movies; right up there with the Psycho shower scene. (Note: This movie was, in part, a take off of: It! The Terror From Beyond Space (1958). Don’t believe me? Check out for yourself. It’s only 69 minutes).

The Exorcist (1973) “Somewhere between science and superstition, there is another world. The world of darkness” I waited in line 2 hours on an icy NYC sidewalk to see this when it came out, and it was so worth it. When Linda Blair twisted her head around the first, time I was a lost cause — screaming and carrying on, but hooked, watching the rest of the movie from between my fingers. By the time she twisted her head in a complete circle, my friend jumped up and left the theater, saying,“I’ve had e-fuckin-uf!” A few nights later I was awakened by my bed shaking. I started screaming, bringing the whole family into my room. It was discovered that with my bed against the wall, on the other side of the same wall (my uncle’s room) was his dresser with a fish tank on it and its motor running (I’m not shittin’ ya).

The Blair Witch Project (1999) “[W]e’re here now, hungry, cold and hunted!” What a great fuckin’ line. There’ll be no camping for me.

Night of the Living Dead (1968) “They’re coming to get you Bar-ba-ra.” Our introduction to the dead rising and eating people. As to the political elements of the movie…Who cares! The dead are rising and I can’t sleep anymore! (BTW. I just saw Romero’s latest installment, Diary of the Dead, and all I can say is, WOW! George Romero is still use to be relevant).

Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things (1972) With the tag line “You’re invited to Orville’s coming-out party” this is the epitome of B-movie horror with some pretty bad acting and a high camp meter at times. But it has some of the best dead rising scenes ever filmed. The scene where the woman pulls herself out of the grave onto a guy trying to escape…(fuck me, Fuck Me, FUCK ME!). I saw this movie when it first came out and cannot bring myself to see it again (and I own a copy). It was enough to watch the video clip which follows. Children Shouldn’t Play With Dead Things trailer

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) “It’s going to be a hell of a night” Comedy and horror. What a great combo: “Did they look like psychos? They were vampires! Psychos don’t explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are!” And I love the Los Lobos soundtrack.

[REC]/Quarantine (2007/8) “Just one witness…a video camera” Good ol’ fashion jump outta your chair scares (without the gore) at an incredibly fast pace. It also answers the question, “Why don’t they just leave?” Once it got started, [Rec] (Spain) had the husband and me on edge and didn’t let go. Had I not seen [REC], the American remake, Quarantine, would have held a better place in my heart of horror, but alas, what we have with the remake is a pale version that copies the original down to the tiniest detail (with some unnecessary additions), but lacks the original’s heart. Now don’t get me wrong. As a stand alone film, Quarantine is a nail-biter, but [REC] is just leaner, delivering more with less, given the directors are horror buffs making a horror movie for horror fans (not copying a movie). The female lead seems more terrified, adding to the film’s unrelenting tension, and what happens at the end is just more creepy and disturbing. For me, [REC] is one of the best new horror flicks, hands down. It will scare you.

Freaks (1932) Clowns are my major fear (second only to zombies, third place is given to Charlie McCarthy dolls [and most dolls]), but there’s something about pinheads that freak the shit outta me (forgive the pun). The ending of the movie with the chase scene in the rain is so disturbing, especially the human torso crawling along with a knife in his mouth (what was gonna do with that?).

Psycho (1960) “Don’t give away the ending — it’s the only one we have” The shower scene made taking a shower a whole new adventure for me as well as for the rest of the country. And to have poor Janet Leigh killed off by a knife-wielding tranny. Who would’a thunk it? Killing off one of the stars early on in the film was a new twist for Hollywood, and earned Janet Leigh some critical praise. Almost fifty years later Wes Craven reintroduced the same tactic in Scream (1996), utilizing Drew Barrymore’s scream appeal (take note – 3 links) and gaining her small role much critical acclaim (I really loved the beginning to that movie too — make sure to click on all 3 links for all of Drew’s Scream scene).

Last House on the Left (1972) “To Avoid Fainting Keep Repeating, It’s Only a Movie, It’s Only a Movie…” And you really had to. The stabbing/dismemberment scene; my God! Nothing had ever been done like that before. The movie was banned in 27 countries. This really is the original slasher film (and the chain saw scene foreshadows The Texas Chainsaw Massacre). We walked out of the theatre (on 42nd St) not knowing what we had just seen. The remake? Why bother? The original pushed the envelope past a point unknown before. Where can it go today? (Note: Don’t bother renting the original movie from Blockbuster — they edited it. You’ll have to buy the uncut version to see all of what I’m talkin’ about).

(more zombies, lunatics and clowns to follow next time)

(Via LA Weekly Blogs)

It’s always interesting how things are never exactly what they seem when it comes to Equality California, one of the leading gay rights groups in the state and a major force behind the failed “No on 8″ campaign.

Whether it’s caused by the leadership of Equality California Executive Director Geoff Kors or some kind of strange, institutional culture within the organization, there’s often a controversy brewing about the way they do business. EQCA’s announcement that it would be pushing for a 2012 pro-gay marriage ballot measure is just one more example.

The latest ruckus involves Equality California and Yes! on Equality, a grassroots, gay rights group that has filed language with the state Attorney General’s Office for a 2010 pro-gay marriage ballot measure. Yes! on Equality charges that Equality California raised over $1 million statewide by calling up people and expressly telling them that the gay rights group was pushing forward with a 2010 ballot measure. Equality California essentially says this didn’t happen.

In an email obtained by Queer Town, members of Yes! on Equality wrote to Equality California honchos that in early July, “it was brought to our attention that EQCA had hired a professional fundraising corporation known as Grassroots Campaigns Inc. Since then, we have heard numerous reports that this money was being raised with a script promoting Gay Marriage in 2010.” According to Yes! on Equality, EQCA has raised over $1 million statewide through this effort.

Chaz Lowe, one of the founders of Yes! on Equality, confirms his group sent the email, which then asks EQCA if at least some of that cash will go towards the 2010 effort that other gay marriage groups, such as Courage Campaign, are pushing. If not, Yes! on Equality asks, will that money be refunded?

“At the very least,” the email reads, “people should be able to request a refund, if they wish, as numerous individuals were assured that their money was being used for 2010.”

Equality California’s Marriage Director Marc Solomon responded to Yes! on Equality with his own email, which Equality California spokeswoman Vaishalee Raja gave to Queer Town.

Solomon did not dispute the amount of money that was raised or that Grassroots Campaigns was working for EQCA, but he did write that the fund raising group was “specifically and repeatedly told not to mention a particular year for a ballot initiative.”

“We have heard of about a dozen cases where canvassers have not followed this directive, and we have immediately gotten in touch with GCI to correct the error. GCI has repeatedly told its canvassers to focus on the issue and not discuss the year in which we would return to the ballot box. If anyone on this list has been asked to donate for 2010, we are very sorry. These canvassers were not following the explicit instructions they were given.”

Chaz Lowe thinks there’s still something fishy happening, and he should know.

In June, for example, L.A. Weekly reported how Geoff Kors and Marc Solomon offered jobs to Lowe and other members of Yes! on Equality at Equality California. By putting them on the payroll, Lowe thought, Equality California was essentially trying to buy the ballot measure language they had filed with the Attorney General’s office.

With the latest brouhaha, Lowe writes to Queer Town that he finds Solomon’s response “highly questionable.”

“We contacted a few directors/workers with Grassroots Campaigns and were informed that the money was being raised for 2010,” writes Lowe via email. “There were several people on the call when we dialed CGI about the money being raised. Not to mention, what are the odds that dozens of CGI workers would make the same ‘mistake?’”

It certainly does seem odd, which made me look back at my notes for an interview I conducted with Marc Solomon in late May.

At the time, the California Supreme Court had just upheld Proposition 8, and the feeling in the streets and among many gay rights activists was that 2010 was the best year to go back to ballot, particularly since gay marriage advocates did not want to compete for money and volunteers with President Barack Obama’s 2012 re-election campaign.

When I asked Solomon what year he thought was best for a new, pro-gay marriage ballot measure, he replied, “We believe 2010 is the year.” A few months later, though, that line of thinking had obviously changed.

Which is fine. People change their minds all the time for different reasons, and hopefully for the right reasons. But that seems to be the problem with Equality California — other gay rights activists regularly complain that EQCA often seems to look out for itself first and foremost, and what’s right for the larger gay community comes second.

It was this kind of mindset, they say, that brought the disastrous results of this past November, and now Equality California and Geoff Kors want to lead the charge again. It understandably makes people nervous.

Contact Patrick Range McDonald at pmcdonald@laweekly.com.

(And I was beginning to think it was just me )

(as per the organizer’s email):

Over the past 5 years, we’ve strived to put on some really great events. And thanks to wonderful support from the community, volunteers and sponsors (especially Budweiser), our Hairrison and AIDS Lifecycle efforts have raised close to $300,000 for a variety of non-profit organizations — an accomplishment we feel very good about.

Every year thousands of guys turn out for our events and many tell us how much they love what we do, especially the fair. And we’re grateful.

But the terrible recession and it’s impact on attendance and participation by vendors and sponsors, combined with huge increases in City fees and the closure of the Bay Bridge for 6 days over the Labor Day Weekend, has made it next to impossible for us to produce the fair this year.

So we’re going to sit this one out, recharge our batteries, and look forward to next year. Our 2010 Polar Bear Weekend is still on for MLK weekend in January up at the Russian River.

Hopefully it will come back next year. It is a great street fair.

“We are extremely disappointed, but not surprised, by Equality California’s decision today to wait until 2012 to go back to the ballot for marriage equality in California, especially since every poll we conducted shows majority support within the LGBT community (including 70 percent of EQCA’s own membership) to put a marriage equality initiative on the ballot next year.

Every indicator and every consultant we’ve met with (including those that ran Barack Obama’s campaign and Winner Mandabach Campaigns, which has run more yes” ballot initiatives than any other consultant or firm in the country) tells us we an win marriage equality back in 2010.

The latest poll figures show that support for gay marriage has gained two percentage points. The polling does not take into account additional provisions we will be including in the ballot language, which have shown to boost support well above 53 percent.

Grassroots support and momentum for a ballot measure in 2010 is extremely high. Equality California has raised $1 million in three months and the Courage Campaign, which supports 2010, raised $200,000 in just the past seven days.

We are confident some of our large donors, who are reluctant to support us right now, will be with us when we begin the campaign.

We already have submitted ballot language to the Attorney General’s office for November 2010 and we are meeting on August 29 to begin planning strategy, a full even months before any campaign strategy was developed to defeat Proposition 8 in 2008.

We are disappointed that Equality California will not be joining us, but the “Coalition for 2010” will be moving forward and will win back marriage equality next year.”

‘Nuf said!

Equality California has done it again. Sticking to their “hurry up and wait” mentality and going against the wishes of their own membership EQCA announced today that they will wait till 2012 to return to California voters with an initiative legalizing gay marriage. They won’t try to qualify a measure regardless of many other gay and lesbian activists desires to move for 2010. Again, it is their elitist attitude of talking down to the masses — “we know what is good for you, even if you don’t see it yet.” This time though there are also allegations of fundraising fraud.

To help raise money EQCA hired Grassroots Campaigns Inc. who specializes in volunteer street corner and door-to-door work. These volunteers have been canvassing the neighborhoods asking for donations for next year’s ballot initiative  – 2010 (I know this personally because I asked  the individuals working the three corners of Market and Church Sts. SF, the 2 corners of Church and 14th Sts SF, and the 2 corners of College and Ashby Aves, Berkeley — in case anyone wants to question these sources). Now with EQCA not supporting 2010 (and probably never supporting 2010 to begin with IMHO), what is to become of these funds? The Gay Buzz asks this question in greater detail and I urge you to read it there. What is also interesting is that for the past few weeks the EQCA volunteers have been out in full force almost every day at the corners I mentioned above. Today, with the “no 2010″ announcement, no volunteers, anywhere. Why?

Marc Solomon wants us to believe that he is really listening to everyone involved when the decision was made to go with 2012. In an interview with UniteTheFight he talked about how he really listened to how the People of Color groups felt steam rolled by the 2010 people. Give me a break Marc. Not everyone is going to be happy in a vote. That’s just the way it is. You are siding with the POC groups only because you want 2012. Lips service is just that, and no one needs that. We have a number of organizations that are leading the way for 2010 and we are raising the money. The Courage Campaign for example (again, I apologize for my misdirected reTweet rants today guys) sent out an email today thanking all who helped raise almost $78,000 in less than 24 hours for repealing Prop 8. We have the time, the resources and the people willing to do the work, and we could have used Equality California. But they’re not happy unless they’re in charge — some things don’t change.

EQCA wanted us to believe that they had changed. That everything is gong to be kept above board for all to see. That they would listen. Well they’re listening alright — to themselves. Geoff Kors/Marc Solomon, different? Nope. Two sides of the same coin? Nope. Apparently, just same side of the same coin. EQCA is holding “online town hall meetings to discuss our [their] position” and then they will “open the web chat and phone lines for people to ask questions.” Not really much of a give and take. Just more of what they do best — telling us what they’re gonna do. You can follow EQCA’s game on their blog page — “The California Ripple Effect.” What’s the ripple you ask? Smells like one big fart to me.

(Just to set the record straight, again, there was a decision made at the Marriage Equality Summit Meeting last weekend. The decision was that we will move forward with 2010. This meeting is to discuss how we will proceed (not if). This is a copy of an email sent to me. Please pass it on).

PLEASE DISSEMINATE THIS LETTER FAR AND WIDE:

An Invitation to the LGBT Community in California

On Sunday, August 9 at 10:00 a.m., a diverse array of groups and individuals from around the state will be gathering at the historic Jewel’s Catch One in South Los Angeles to plan for the ballot initiative campaign to repeal Prop 8.  We hope that you will join us.  RSVP Today:  Http://tr.im/080909

While it’s no secret that not everyone agrees on when to proceed with a ballot initiative, everyone does agree that the work must be happening now.  That work is to change hearts and minds and it must be done whether we are in a campaign for 2010 or later. Since we all share the goal of complete equality for LGBT people, there is much we can do together.

At the meeting we will be doing in-depth planning for all aspects of what needs to occur between now and qualifying a ballot measure.  Everyone dedicated to working for marriage equality is invited, particularly those who have expressed reservations about a 2010 campaign.  These concerns are legitimate and important, and any planning for a future campaign must take them into account to ensure our chances of winning.

We recognize that the last few months have at times been divisive and painful.  We hope that meetings like this will begin to unite us.  The purpose of this meeting is not to discuss when this issue should return to the ballot or change anyone’s view about that question.  Rather, we invite everyone to join in the planning for what needs to be done and learn how each of us can best contribute.  The decision on when to make that contribution is yours.

It’s time to work together.  Juntos podemos.  Together we can.

Summit Participants include:

ALLORNOTATALL

COURAGE CAMPAIGN

EQUALITY ARMY

EQUALITY NETWORK

ERASE THE H8

GAYS UNITED NETWORK

INTERNATIONAL SOCIALIST ORGANIZATION

LOVE = LOVE

LOVE HONOR CHERISH

MARRIAGE EQUALITY USA

MEET IN THE MIDDLE FOR EQUALITY

ONE STRUGGLE, ONE FIGHT

OUTRIGHT LIBERTARIANS

RESTORE EQUALITY NOW WEST ADAMS/L.A. SOUTH (RENWL)

SAN DIEGO ALLIANCE FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY (SAME)

SOMOS FAMILIA

STONEWALL DEMOCRATIC CLUB

STONEWALL YOUNG DEMOCRATS

STRAIGHT ALLY WOMEN 4 EQUALITY (AWE)

TEAM COURAGE ORANGE COUNTY

TRUTHANDHOPE.ORG

VIETNAMESE FOR MARRIAGE EQUALITY

WHITE KNOT FOR EQUALITY

YES! ON EQUALITY

Special thanks to Jewel’s Catch One for making their space available. The venue opened its doors in 1972 as the nation’s first black gay and lesbian disco. Since that time the historic nightspot has evolved into a vibrant hub for community-based LGBT social and political groups in South Los Angeles. It is located at 4067 W. Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90019.  To RSVP go to: Http://tr.im/080909

LGBT leaders gathered last weekend in San Bernardino, CA to attend the California Marriage Equality Leadership Summit and vote on whether to move forward on Prop 8 in 2010 or 2012. The elephant in the room: Equality California (EQCA). The group that lead the disastrous “No on 8” campaign last year, which Chris Cillizza referred to on MSNBCs Hardball as “the worst run campaign in the history of the initiative politics.”

To say that EQCAs leadership is irrelevant today, one just has to look at their 2008 campaign. Besides some of their well known inept strategies: not engaging the community or their allies; canvassing the local gay neighborhood corners with young people and clip boards — basically preaching to the choir about No on 8; collecting and wasting more money then the “Yes on 8” enemy, with disastrous results (e.g., going with a top taking dollar gay advertising agency, who put out those pathetic faceless commercials, rather than going with a smaller, unknown [even straight] agencies, who would have worked for less money — if not free); and, Executive Director, Geoff Kors taking a 2 week vacation during the height of the campaign (we’ve since heard it was a “forced” vacation — yeah. Right!). But there is more info that shows their megalomaniacal attitude; info that deals with them having passed up two of the greatest chances at political grass-roots help offered any gay rights campaign.

In 2008 Dolores Huerta, co-founder of the United Farm Workers, approached EQCA and asked, “How can I be of any help?” EQCA’s response: “We don’t need your help.” To pass up on the the Latino voting block is one of the greatest political blunders. Sure it would have been an uphill battle, but if Ms. Huerta was willing to go the distance, who was EQCA to snub her?

An aide to Los Angeles’ Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa approached EQCA, and speaking for the mayor’s office, offered his help. He was told, “We don’t need your help. We don’t want to make this political.” Not political? What the FUCK?!?!?! Since when is anything gay not political? If this type of irresponsible, self-centered, delusional ideas of grandeur is not enough to have EQCA pushed into the background of simply manning phone lines (if that)…

But those at EQCA want us to believe that things have changed. How? They say they are attempting a more grass-roots activism approach. They say they want to actively listen to their constituents and get their input. Have they started to listen? Have they started to work with other organizations? With the community? Well not really.

When polled in May, sixty-nine percent of EQCAs membership was in favor of going back to the ballot in 2010. Yet a July BAR article, Consultants Prefer 2012 Prop 8 Repeal has Equality California painted as “not yet take[ing] a formal stance on whether to repeal Prop 8 in 2010 or 2012.” Really? So, they listen to their membership only until it no longer serves Kors and his ilk. “Surprised” it continued, to hear so many professionals say that “2010 was not the right answer.” But wasn’t it at this past January’s Equality Summit that Kors stated that one of their biggest problems was dealing too much with professionals (i.e., political operatives). The only change I can see (and it’s a superficial one) is bringing in Marc Solomon and pushing Kors to the background. I say superficial because Geoff is still in charge. The reason for his taking a “back seat” is simple. If the big money contributors hear that he has anything to do with No on 8, their wallets will slam shut completely!

And, when a number of other gay rights organizations felt it was best to wait –”Prepare to Prevail” (<yawn> more like “prepare to wait”), EQCAs began to backtrack:

“We initially said we believe 2010 was the right time to go back to the ballot [but] we will only move forward if we have a clear road map to victory.”

A clear road map to victory, huh? We will probably never have a clear road. Not with the conservatives and the christians out there. So why go against the will of their membership now? Because a collation of their “partners” feel it’s best to wait? Because all of a sudden this “we know what is right” elitist group has started listening to others? I don’t think so. EQCA probably means they will only move forward when they are sure that the road to victory will be lead by EQCA and no one else. 

But today this is not to be the case. There is s group that appears to be willing to listen to and work with others, and is already one step ahead of the rest: Yes! on Equality. Yes! on Equality has the ballot language and is ready to go in 2010. In their own words:

“Yes! on Equality is … created to repeal Proposition 8. The California Marriage Equality Act of 2010 is authored by Yes! on Equality and is the only same-sex marriage ballot initiative registered with the Attorney General’s office. [Our] purpose is to bring together supporters for a more effective outcome. Simply repeating the previous campaign will not achieve victory. [We] will ensure…minority and faith outreach, expanded grassroots activism, and an inclusive structure that recognizes the value of both large and small organizations.”

In closing they state, ‘[we believe] that no single organization should own the next marriage equality campaign — every…organization can and will need to contribute to the success of marriage equality.”

And last weekend EQCA knew for sure they were really no longer top dog. Many attending the marriage summit meeting were a little disgusted with the attitudes of the elder leadership (and I don’t mean just EQCA). EQCA knows Yes! on Equality has the upper hand, because of the ballot language, and that folk will be pushing for 2010. And EQCA are not happy. And when one is not happy, they can do some pretty fucked up things.

Now I’m not sayin’ EQCA had anything to do with this — there’s no proof, but something can be gained by lettin’ the air outta the tires before the van can build up speed (something like gainign control for 2012). All I know is the subterfuge tactics would make a Republican proud.

(the following is from an email by a concerned member who attended the CA Marriage Equality Leadership Summit and is willing to point fingers):

“Equality California is out there spreading misinformation in the NY Times, the SF Chronicle and on gay blogs that no decision was made Saturday in San Bernardino about when to move forward with a marriage equality initiative.

In fact, a decision WAS made. Fifty LGBT organizations — called the ”Coalition of the Willing” — have agreed to move forward in 2010 with a ballot initiative. An announcement will be made on or around August 9 on how to move forward.

What this means is we have 15 months to put together a campaign — three times longer than last year.

Equality California was completely outmaneuvered and voted down on Saturday.

No one is sure why they are putting out misinformation but the Coalition intends to set the record straight.

So, if you hear or read that no decision was made, that is not accurate.”

Believe me, EQCA were not the only ones unhappy with the Leadership Summit Meeting. You can go anywhere on the net and find disgruntled individuals. Still, from what I’ve heard, besides true colors being shown, some good things were accomplished. 2010 it is!!!

In closing, let this last paragraph be an open letter (albeit a short one) to Equality California:

Dear EQCA

If you really want to help us get same sex marriage back in the state of California, how about lending your vast knowledge and experiences in this field to those that are now taking the reigns. Help them rather than sit in the corner pouting, waiting to see if they fail so you can say, “we told you so.” Learn from your past mistakes and teach others to tread lightly where you blundered. Put out your hand in assistance to those that can use it, but under no circumstance think that you are in charge. That ship has sailed.

P.S. And Geoff. It’s time to step down as executive director.

Yours truly — the Communtiy

So the husband and I spent a few days in Seattle this past week for a quick get-away. It’s really a wonderful city: beautiful, friendly, clean and progressive. Shame it’s stuck in a narrow-minded state that’s wants to turn back the clock on domestic partnership.

In May of this year Washington’s governor, Christine Gregoire, signed a domestic partnership expansion bill (2009 Senate Bill 5688 aka/ the “Everything But Marriage” bill) that gives gay couples and unmarried seniors many of the same benefits that heterosexually married Washingtonian couples have always had. Some of the expanded benefits include:

rights to wages and benefits; unemployment and disability; workers compensation; and, insurance benefits.

This law is to have taken effect this month. But ohhhh nooooo. The ol’ shits will not allow that.

With the help of the Catholic Church and the Knights of Columbus, Larry Stickney and his Washington Values Alliance say they are close to getting the 120,500 signatures needed by July 25th that will put Referendum 71 on the November ballot. Referendum 71, which will strip away everything the “Everything But Marriage” bill promises.

WOW! A state that’s even more backwards than California — yes California stripped same sex couples of the right to marry — Washington blocked that right in 2006 — but through Referendum 71, the voters of Washington don’t even want to give same sex couples the protections of marriage without the name of marriage. I have to say that like California, the coast is always more civilized, while inland… well in the case of Washington, anything east of the Cascades is Kentucky.

Now don’t get me wrong, we had a great time in Seattle. It just sucks that the narrow-minded shits reached out and dispirited our vacation a bit.

BTW. Here are some of the pics we took.

Bikerette #1: I’m strictly dickly, ‘cause I love me dick.

Bikerette #2 (scratching lottery tickets and not bothering to look up):   Really?

Bikerette #1: Well, unless something else comes along. A gal my age has gotta be ready for anything.

– Mission St at Persia

Apparently a kiss is just a kiss — NOT! It’s an affront to all that’s decent and good!

Two incidents in the past week have been reported where a gay couple have been harassed or arrested by authorities for kissing. Both incidents have been instigated by ignorant security guards, and followed through by ignorant overzealous police.

In El-Paso, Texas, five men were ejected from a Chico’s Tacos because 2 were kissing. The security guards were overheard making anti gay comments, before calling the police. On their arrival the police, citing a Texas law, stated that, “same-sex kissing was forbidden in public” (a law banning homosexual activity in general, a law that was overturned by the Supreme Court 6 years ago). The gay men were removed from the premises.

During protests following the incident the El Paso police department spokesman said the men could have been charged with trespassing (trespassing?). The security company involved in the Chico’s Tacos harassment in Texas, has issued a response.

(After reading the response I can just imagine a lovely, young, ballerina twirling, Latino being a threat to security guards, while debauchery was taking place all over the tables using the packets of hot sauce — Caliente Fire level I would think)

Protests are underway, and the ACLU is calling for an El Paso Police inquiry.

In Salt Lake City, Utah two gay residents, walking home across the Main Street Plaza, a Mormon owned property, were approached and detained by security guards for one placing placing an arm on the back and a kiss on the cheek of his lover. When the men protested, additional guards were called in. They then put one of the men to the ground and handcuffed him before alerting the police, who then arrested the couple. The incident took place on what was once a public walkway but was sold in 2003 to the LDS Church. A place where many hetero couples “pose affectionately for photos.”

The SLC Tribune requested a police report but were denied, citing that Utah law gives the police five business days to respond to record requests.

For both instances, the argument that there are rules governing publicly used private property is on thin ice. Being asked to leave such properties for some unacceptable behavior is acceptable, only if that action is deemed unacceptable across the board. The right to access is not exclusively at the discretion of the owner. If some are allowed to hold hands, kiss and/or just show affection, then it is open to all to do the same. There should not be an invisible code of behavior set up that is not applied to heteros. Public parks are another example. They are known for “Lover’s Lanes” where heteros steam up car windows, but gays cruising through the same park are arrested for lewd behavior. What’s the difference between gettin’ off in a car or next to a tree?.

Though race and gender are a protected class, as always our rights are worthless, and these institutions (the police and the church) are showing their true colors and agenda.

Kiss-in anyone?

(Update: a 60 person kiss-in assembled near Temple Square in SLC today in response to the arrests. Former SLC Councilwoman Deeda Seed launched the idea from her FaceBook page after reading about the initial incident that took place on Thursday.)